Where would I be were it not for you, Father? I would be lost. I would be drifting aimlessly. I would be enslaved. I would be forlorn…not because that is what You wanted but because of my choices. Your desire is for us to be together. And I am so glad that that is the way it is.
One of my favorite speakers is Alistair Begg, senior pastor of Parkside Church in Cleveland, Ohio. On a recent broadcast he spoke about being wary of becoming “lost out.” He used the phrase to refer to someone who has been a believer for many years but has made no progress spiritually for a very long period of time.
Now in the strictest of terms I probably wasn’t “lost out” but I sure felt that I was. I would surmise that truly “lost out” individuals don’t want to be that way but also don’t want to be badly enough to do anything about it.
I was very dissatisfied with where I was but felt like I was hitting the ceiling. I tried different things but got nowhere. Looking back, Lord, I can see that in reality You were steering me in the direction I needed to go. You knew my heart’s desire but I just hadn’t gotten there yet.
Then one day, and I can’t remember exactly when that was, I broke through – the ceiling shattered! I had gotten through but by no means was I “there” yet. It sounds weird saying it that way but that’s the way it was. I guess it’s sort of like striving to reach a certain level of athleticism. You work and work to cross that line and then finally you do! You did it but it still takes a lot of effort to cross that line again. Eventually crossing the line into another level of spiritual growth came more easily. For me, journaling was what did it. It was the focused outlet I needed – but it took time. It is a well-established habit in my life now but I must always be about moving onward and upward – progress is of the essence. And, Jesus, You are my inspiration and my motivation. I am so grateful for all You are to me. Draw me closer. Continue to guide and direct me. There is no place I’d rather be!
Apr 7th, Thurs, 5:33am