Tag Archives: heartache

Why Me? Will It Ever Stop?!

Father, today has been a good day. I am so grateful for everything You do for me.  Helping me to focus…especially to focus on You…helps me to keep myself on the straight and narrow, which is the only place to be. All praise to You!

Philippians 4:7 (<<click here)

To worry less – pray more! Lord, doing this will bring about a peace found only in You and as the old translation reads, it will be a “peace that passes all understanding”– from the world’s perspective, it makes no sense!

Something has been rattling around in my head for some time – as Your children, how do we respond to the absolutely horrific thing’s this life thrust upon us? Death, disease, heartache, financial woes, loss, and rejection – the list goes on and on. We cry out, “Why me!?” “Will it ever stop?!”

Now Your Word tells us in Romans 8:28 that “… in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”  So the question we deal with then is, how does all of this gel? If You love us why do we experience so much pain in life? And how does pain which is included in the “all things” of Romans 8:28 work for our good? Again going to Your Word tells us in order to stress less we must pray more and that will bring about a peace that is beyond comprehension.

First of all, You do not bring about the pain. We, the whole of humanity, have brought that upon ourselves. Eve’s yielding to sin started it and every one of us since has perpetuated that sin – our depravity knows no end. Our great propensity for wondrous creativity from being created in Your likeness has been pushed to all limits by our perversion and wickedness. We have so polluted the world with our rebellion that inevitably we encounter pain.

Secondly, because You love us so much – which is proven by the fact of how far You went to bring us back into right relationship with You – the giving of yourself to the point of a horrific death at our hands – because You love us so much You can take all that is ugly and revolting about ourselves and our lives and make it good! The impossible becomes possible!

Lord, most of us would have no problem acknowledging these two points through most of the ebb and flow of life. But when those times of pain and suffering are so intense that we feel like we are going down for the count, is the answer to worry (which seems like an awfully small word in this context) less and pray more? ‘That’s it?’ we yell? ‘With all Your power and might and “love”, that’s all You have to offer?’ And Your answer is…a resounding ‘YES!!’

We absolutely cannot wrap our minds around it, but giving ourselves over to You and praying in place of worrying brings us peace – not peace of the world which is shallow and, oh so temporary, but Your peace. Your peace is deep, and rich and most importantly – never ending!!

Miraculously, You take the absolute worst of our lives and bring the absolute best out of it! From a worldly perspective – it makes no sense at all, but Your peace is not of this world. Being Your children, whom You love, You give it to us freely and in abundance!! Lord, all the praise goes to You for this awesomely overwhelming gift!! In the midst of the hurricanes of life – You are there – solid and strong- FOR US!!

Help us, Lord, to trust in You – to throw ourselves into Your mighty arms. Give us Your peace we plea! When we do so the glory will be given to You! Others will ask how we do it and we can proclaim that it’s only because of You!! You are our only answer to everything this old world has to throw at us!  Even if death is what is thrown our way, yes, even death, You are the answer – being escorted into Your presence, what could be better?

Praise You, Lord!! Strengthen us!  Enable us!  Empower us!! Use us through all of life to hold our lights high, showing the world that there is HOPE and LIFE found only in You! AMEN!

June 2nd, Tues, 8:07 am

Why Don’t You Call Me Home?

Good morning, Father!  Thank you for a good night’s sleep (I wasn’t up even once) and my shoulder isn’t aching at all. Praise You for this beautiful day!

Philippians 1:20-26 (<<click the green)

Lord, I pray that throughout my life that I would have the perspective of Paul, torn between joining You (i.e. leaving this earth, it’s hardship and heartache) and staying here to lift up and encourage people on their journey with You.

Reading this passage I cannot help but think of wonderful followers of You who at the end of their earthly lives were so overwhelmed by physical adversity that their only desire was to leave this earth and join You. I could never think poorly of them for they were pillars of faith, mentors, individuals who taught me much of You and things I do in following You I gleaned from their influence (Grandma Provance and Rev. Tom Lasley). But they despaired and questioned why You let them linger here – why You didn’t call them home. You had Your holy reasons and I am sure You understood their responses. It makes me cry even now to think of their heartache in their last days!

Lord, You know my heart and You surely know my love for them. Help me continue to embrace their great love for You and how they strove to serve You and talked with You for they loved You dearly but I would ask that my heart’s desire, regardless of what would happen to my body or mind – and only You know the possibilities – would be that You would grow me to the point that I would give up being with You, and all that means, so that I could encourage one more person in their walk with You, would say one more prayer lifting up the down-trodden that they would persevere and overcome by standing faithfully by Your side.

I pray here and now that You would give me a heart for the lost, that I would be constrained to have the heart and soul of Pastor Rick Warren’s dad whose final breaths on this earth were “Got to save one more for Jesus!” over and over again! Lord, please give me Your heart, Your love for Your world! At this point it is not me – forgive me! I plead for Your courage to speak exactly what needs spoken!  I plead for Your tenacity to never give up on people but to be persistent in pursuing them for Your glory!

“Open My Eyes that I may see!” what You see!  Feel what You feel!  And act as you would act! Help this to become my overwhelming desire. “Mold me, make me, fill me, use me!” Praise and glory to Your Holy Name!

May 14th, Thurs, 6:55 am

I Refuse to Blame God

Though last night was a little rough, Father, I was grateful that You were by my side. It is reassuring to have You in my thoughts at any time, day or night. I am glad You are my comforter.

In the past twelve days, four men in my life have died – three from my churches and one from my family. On top of that, I have two uncles recovering from strokes. It has been difficult, but one thing I refuse to do is to blame God for it.

If anything sin is to blame. God created us and this world to be perfect, clean, and holy. And we soiled this holy perfection by inviting sin into the picture. We can’t just blame Adam either. Throughout the thousands of years of man’s existence, all of humanity – men, women, boys and girls – we have all perpetuated sin in each of our lives. Sin is at the core of all of our heartache and disease.

Personally, we should be grateful towards God. How many prayers have been answered that have prolonged life giving us another day…another month…another year? How many minds has God gifted with the ability to think through seemingly insurmountable problems of disease and illness? Medical advancements in my lifetime alone are absolutely amazing!

How many times has everything lined up in such a way that at just the right time physical maladies have intersected with just the right professional who was able to put all the pieces together to find an answer? That is not coincidence – that is providence! It is God’s intervention!

God does love us! He does care! In the midst of the awful storms of life, God is there! He is the rock upon which we can build our lives. And even when our lives come to an end, He is still there. If we have given our lives over to Him, death is not the victor! He has overcome death and we can step across that cold threshold into His loving presence for all of eternity. No more pain. No more tears. No more sorrow. Only everlasting love and joy! Amen!

Apr 26th, Wed, 8:50 am

Peace in Spite of Storms

I am so grateful, Father, that Your “loving kindnesses indeed never cease, For [Your] compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23 The last several days have been taxing and it is a great reassurance to known that this day is a new day and that You are faithful and that Your “loving kindnesses indeed never cease.” Praise Your Holy name!

2 Timothy 1:13-14 (<<click here)

Regardless of what lies ahead, Lord, You are my rock-solid foundation. As this past week has proven this life is full of twists and turns and we never know what may be around the next bend – illness, heartache, disease, loss. Some things rock the boat but there are times when our boats are utterly destroyed and we are left floundering in the debris. But, Lord, You are steadfast, You are right there with us through it all. You alone are the constant in our lives.

The world may exclaim, “Where is your God now? Where is He in the midst of all of this?” And yes, it is difficult and, yes, I may be shaken but my line of salvation is truth! I have no doubt whatsoever that you are there. I would ask Paul’s words would be fulfilled in my life, that through the power of the Holy Spirit who lives within [me]” that I would be able to “carefully guard the precious truth that has been entrusted to [me].” And it is just as important that I don’t hoard this truth but that I liberally share it with all my sojourners. For truly Your “compassions never fail. They are new every morning!”

Oct 27th, Tues, 6:47 am

Seeing Through Your Eyes

Father, this morning, as I think back over the past few months, I once again acknowledge that I owe everything I am to You. This time that we have together was at one point only something I longed for, then it became something with which I struggled. Only because of You was I able to overcome things that were holding me back, things that were constantly entangling me! Thank You, Father! Life is not perfect, I still have my struggles but it is different now. In Your strength alone am I victorious. Praise Your holy Name!

Colossians 4:3-4 (<<click here)

Lord, You would think that being Your follower for all these years, that being a minister for so long, that this would be a normal activity in my life – but it isn’t. There may be factors but for too long they were basically just excuses…

In these verses Paul asks that the Colossians pray that God will give he and those with him many opportunities to share God’s “mysterious” plan concerning Christ. His objective was to make sure that it was no longer a mystery for he wanted all to realize Christ’s Good News of salvation from sin. He then asks for prayer that he will proclaim this Good News as clearly as he should.

Lord Jesus, You have been working with me in this area. On this front I am still a newbie but You are patiently working with me. Please forgive my failings to take advantage of opportunities given – my hesitancy, as well. Please continue to bolster my confidence in You. In my own strength and wisdom I am doomed to failure! Only through Your strength and wisdom will success be found! I would ask that more and more I would see others as You see them. I know You are at work in my life. When my preconceived mindsets kick in I feel You pulling up on the reigns and You encourage me to stop, and think. Then help me to act as You would act.

Thank You for the opportunity and the courage to act this past week at work. I did not know the gentleman in our break room, I had seen him before but had not spoken to him. When he sat down and began to eat, I really didn’t think much about it, but as time passed I believe You allowed me to see him through Your eyes. He said nothing but he communicated despair, heartache, loneliness. He did not weep but the way he touched his face and combed his fingers through his thinning hair spoke to me; seeing what You saw almost brought me to tears! And then You clearly spoke to me and boy did I struggle! You said, “Speak to him.” My mind raced! There are other peoples in here – what would they think, what am I supposed to say?! ‘Hey, you look like you’re in despair. Want to talk?” I tried to fend it off but You pushed on.  I packed up my things and put them away and before I left, I say across from him and introduced myself. He was a men’s clothing rep who was in the store regularly. I shared my appreciation for reps and all they do and that was it. I broke the ice – I had made contact. It scared me to death but Lord, You helped me! Afterwards, I sincerely prayed that I would see him again, soon, and that You will use me to touch him. Lord, help me to “proclaim [Your] message as clearly as I should” with him and others You bring my way.

Thanks You Lord for Your loving patience!

July 3, Fri 5:27 am

This video does a great job of communicating this mindset!