Eliminating Historical Encounters
Father, I am grateful for an uncluttered day with family. Thank You for my blessings!
1 Corinthians 13:5c (<<click here to read the passage)
[Love] does not take into account a wrong endured. AMP
I remembered a “funny” joke about a husband saying that his wife would get historical when they were arguing…not hysterical but historical…she would dredge up many things from their past. So, I looked it up, and I’m not kidding; God leads me down some strange paths to get me where He wants me to be… He led me to an online article on a ministry’s website called Knowing Her Sexually.
It stopped me dead in my tracks…
Their blog post was entitled, Does Your Wife Get “Historical”?
First, they stressed that it is not so much that wives are taking into account a wrong endured, but in reality, it’s just how their minds are wired. Karen’s mind is excellent at remembering prices for things, especially groceries. I’m not so good at that. I’m good at remembering the vehicles my work associates drive, so I know who is or who is not at the garage, and I readily recognize them in other places as well (yeah, it’s not a big deal, but it’s how my brain works.)
Wives aren’t getting “historical”; they just store both positive and negative memories related to their relationship with their husbands. So why do they bring up negative memories regularly?
They say that maybe that one incident is negligible, but it rings of patterns we develop. How many times do we find our phones in our hands? It may not be every time we’re together, but it happens often…doesn’t it?
She mentions past incidents as examples to show that she has genuinely noticed this behavior and her concern doesn’t come from out of the blue. She wants to be sure you know that she isn’t just being overly sensitive. She wants you to believe her. She wants you to understand that this is something that bothers her.
Another reason she might bring up negative memories is that she is still hurting. …she may bring it up frequently over the years because she still needs help dealing with the hurt.
She may be hoping for an apology, trying again to feel heard by you, or wanting her experience to be acknowledged in some way.
I’m stopping right there (click on their post title if you’d like to read the rest.)
I think many of us struggle with this in our relationships, myself included. I find myself praying about my relationship with Karen. I love her, and it seems that too often, we don’t see eye to eye, and some things aren’t really addressed. Being a couple for 40 years, it’s easy to take her for granted, not showing her nearly often enough that I love and cherish her. …notice that I didn’t say “tell her.” I need to show her. And I’m not very good at it.
Lord Jesus, help me to remove reasons to take into account a wrong endured. Help me to love her more and to give her more reason to love me, as well.
Dec 27th, 2023, Wed, 8:50 pm
Love Is Not Provoked
It was a day of family gatherings; thank You for that blessing, Father. Be with us all, as only You can be. Amen.
1 Corinthians 13:5b (<<click here to read the passage)
[Love] is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]… AMP
One of the most detestable traits of Fowlers (that’s my last name) is our tendency toward anger. I will only point a finger at myself – I will not name others in my family; they can judge themselves.
I will tell you that it is a battle. I work really hard at not letting it show…at least in public, be it at work or in church. But on my own, in my own heart and mind, and unfortunately, around those closest to me, it raises its ugly head more often. And it doesn’t take much for my fuse to be lit – foolishness on the road, a seemingly slanderous remark, someone’s actions that I feel are against me and what I think should be the case.
…anybody else guilty?
In the second portion of verse 5, the Amplified Bible uses the word provoked. The online Oxford Languages Dictionary says it is to stimulate or give rise to (a reaction or emotion, typically a strong or unwelcome one) in someone.
In some instances, I can stand firm and not be irked in the least…but other times, I crash and burn…and quickly. Earlier, I stated that I work really hard at not letting it show, and I said, “at least in public.” I’m not as good at it in up close and personal situations or in my own heart and mind, but I am striving to conquer that area of my life as well. My regular struggle is often covered by regular prayer.
Jesus loves me! This I know,
For the Bible tells me so;
Little ones to Him belong;
They are weak, but He is strong.
I hold on to those last two lines. I am the Lord’s child (one of His little ones). I am, without a doubt, weak, but He, most assuredly, is strong.
I’ve often said that without the Holy Spirit’s work in my life, there is no victory. Only with Him guiding and directing me…only with Him by my side, can I be the overcomer that He knows I can be.
Responding to provocation – intended or not – being overly sensitive and then responding in anger far too easily is my tendency…but it is not always a given that I will respond that way. God working through me is a mighty power. It is much mightier than I could ever hope to be on my own. And at the core of it all is love!
Lord Jesus, help me to keep my eyes on You. I know I am not alone, but others have to pray this prayer for themselves. We can change and respond in anger far less if we will but rely on You…responding in Your strength…in Your love. May we be victorious in You! Amen!
Dec 26th, 2023, Tues, 7:56 pm
Love Is Not Rude or Self-seeking
It has been a day of a few traditions, Father, but we also had the opportunity to share the gifts and abilities You gave us with others. May they retain the blessing we were able to share.
1 Corinthians 13:5a (<<click here to read the passage)
[Love] is not rude; it is not self-seeking… AMP
My major in college was Church Music. That was my occupational goal in service to the Lord. Upon graduating, I was privileged to serve as a full-time Minister of Music in a church in the St. Louis metro area suburb of Webster Groves. While there, I returned to Ohio to marry my college sweetheart and, within the year, accepted a position as a Minister of Youth and Music at a church in Marietta, Ohio. I so enjoyed leading choirs and all aspects of worship – congregational singing and special music, as well as gifted musicians on piano and organ who graciously shared their talents supporting those areas of ministry, along with preludes, postludes, and offertories.
I still love putting together all the components of worship, except now I’m also responsible for expounding on God’s Word. Doing them all helps me coordinate the different components to emphasize key points.
All parts of the body (both our physical bodies and the Body of Christ – the Church), whether great or small, significant or seemingly insignificant, contribute to the entire outcome of what the body can do.
I think the pianist or organist is one of the significant parts of worship. Yet, though they play that role in the body, there are things they do that people think are insignificant. We realize that accompanying our singing is of great importance. (Ask any church that doesn’t have an accompanist, and they will share how difficult it is.) But the problem arises during their preludes (music before the service begins), postludes (music bringing the service to a close), and offertories.
Now, I understand congregations settling into their pews as a service begins. There may be some noises of jostling bodies and audible “Excuse me” or “Is anyone sitting there?”s. So maybe some leeway can be extended during preludes. And possibly the same leeway could be extended to families with small children, amongst others, preparing to leave the service at its conclusion, making noise over the postludes.
But one area I think love should be extended is during offertories. Those playing offertories have often invested a fair amount of time in preparation. Many churches have gifted people, and their time of contribution to worship in the giving of our tithes and offerings should also be respected and revered.
Verse 5 states that love is not rude or self-seeking. Rude is defined as being discourteous or impolite, especially in a deliberate way. And self-seeking is being interested in your advantage in everything that you do. Carrying on conversations with your neighbors during the offertory is both rude and self-seeking. Doing that shows a lack of love for a member of the Body of Christ.
This is just one example of how we might improve our love for one another. Lord Jesus, help us to be sensitive to one another, loving others as we love ourselves. Amen.
Dec 25th, 2023, Mon, 8:14 pm
Merry Christmas!
Photo by Anneke Schram, via Canva Pro
I saw this layout on social media and loved it, so I made my own version of it! Merry Christmas to all!
No Excessive Pride in Love
Father, I am grateful that this was the last day of school until after the first of the new year. I ask that You enable me to use my time wisely and that my rest would be restorative. Amen.
1 Corinthians 13:4d (<<click here to read the passage)
There are many things in life that are no problem for us in moderation. The problem arises when we overindulge. An occasional sweet treat is enjoyable, but eating too much of it can adversely affect our health – weight gain, tooth decay, diabetes, etc. We know that too much alcohol can give us all kinds of issues. Even things meant for our good can take us downward if we overdo them, medications, for example.
Did you realize that you can drink excessive amounts of water? We understand that water is good for us. It is essential for our very survival. But if we consume it in too great a quantity, the Mayo Clinic states that our kidneys can’t get rid of the excess water. The sodium content of our blood becomes diluted. It’s called hyponatremia, and it can be life-threatening.
We have to be careful in many areas of our lives.
Pride is one of those areas. Pride in and of itself is not necessarily bad. There’s nothing wrong with feeling a deep pleasure or satisfaction that comes from our achievements. If you’re a good speaker or play an instrument well, or if encouraging and loving people comes easy for you, it’s all good.
We get into trouble when we cross the line, become braggarts, and speak with too much pride about something we have done or possess. When we begin thinking that we are better and more important than other people, that’s a problem. We often describe those kinds of people as being arrogant.
Love suffocates in that kind of mindset. Love has so much to do with others, and if we are stuck on thoughts of ourselves, how great we are, and how others are so below us – love ceases.
The last part of verse 4 from 1 Corinthians 13 from the Amplified Bible reads,
…love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant. AMP
Another poignant verse is found in Proverbs 16:18, which says,
Pride goes before destruction, and haughtiness before a fall. NLT
When we begin to feel that we are the only ones worthy to stand, we lose the support of others, so much so that we fall…and fall hard. If we go too far down that trail, we can even lose God’s support.
“The Lord resists the proud; but he gives grace to the humble.” Proverbs 3:34 (Septuagint Bible)*
And that, my friend, is most definitely dangerous territory. Lord Jesus, may we guard our hearts from excessive pride. Amen.
*An ancient translation of the Old Testament from Hebrew to Greek
Dec 21st, 2023, Thurs, 7:22 pm