Father, I am so sorry that I allow little things to build up to the point that I am spiritually off balance and fall. I know You are there for me. Early on, I listened closely and swatted down even the slightest thought that would lure me from You. Then, over time, my swat time lags, then I don’t swat at all – my indiscretions are small and seemingly insignificant…but they multiply and begin to pile up over time. Why don’t I just stop and call for Your help to sweep them all out? I don’t know. That would make sense. I continue to sweep my random thoughts under the rug. But over time, there are more and more of them, and some are bigger than others. I try to ignore them, but that rug starts to get lumpy – so much so that I stumble on occasion – I don’t fall, mind You; I just stumble. And I continue in my self-imposed “ignorance.” Again, why don’t I just stop and ask for Your help? It’s not difficult. I know You want me to. But I convince myself that I can handle it. I’m good. I’ve got it under control…but I don’t. And You watch as more and more gets thrown under the rug, calling for me to allow You to help me, but I’m distracted – focused on all kinds of things and not the matters that really matter. And then it happens, it’s just too much, I stumble…I try to keep my balance, but I fall. Maybe I don’t fall as hard as I have in the past, but I still fall – flat on my face. And why? It makes no sense! It is all my fault… I have no one else to blame…
But You are still there. You have not forsaken me. You have not given up on me. I yield once again (for the gazillionth time?) to Your loving hand. You reach down and help me up. I consent to pulling back the rug and am swept clear once more.
Thank You, Lord, for Your patience. Thank You for Your unfathomable love. Where would I be without Your mercy? I fall into Your mighty arms. I pray that You will help me. I am stronger than I once was, but I willingly acknowledge that I am utterly incapable of anything close to success on my own. I am dependent upon You. Help me to respond to Your guidance. Help me to yield to You. Help me to sweep things out of my life and not under the rug.
It’s not easy writing these things down, knowing someone else is going to read them. But I know we all have things we sweep under our own rugs – things we battle against, but sometimes they pile up. Maybe it’s gossip, or laziness, or food or, sex or, backbiting or, selfishness or, self-loathing… the list goes on, but Christ is there – more than willing and more than able to help us. All we must do is call out, and He is there. He is for me… and he is for you, too.
(Nov 12th, 2015, Fri, 5:00 am)
Oct 21st, 2024, Mon, 7:31 pm
