Are You Even My Friend?

Father, You know my heart. You know my thoughts. I place both in the gentle hands of Your love. May I be immersed in You. Amen.
John 21:15-19 (<<click here to read the passage)
It may seem a strange mentality to have but there are probably people in our lives whom we love but do not especially like. When I say “love” what comes to mind is Jesus calling us to “love our neighbor as ourselves.” Matthew 22:39 NLT
It’s sort of a detached love. We love strangers because we are supposed to. We love acquaintances because we are supposed to – those we go to school with, maybe some of the fringy people we work with (“Yeah, I might know their name…but that’s about it!”), neighbors, and people we regularly interact with at businesses, or people whose kids interact with our kids.
But what about those who are somewhat close to us. This week, and in the weeks ahead, there is a possibility we will be interacting with family members who we see maybe two or three times a year – in some families more frequently. Yeah, we love them…they’re family. But the question is, do we like them?
It may seem like a weird question but there are people in all of our lives that we just don’t gel with. They think in different ways. They throw people of so many different traits into the same pot…a pot of their disapproval. They may be nicey-nice to their face but rarely have anything good to say about them behind their backs.
But I’ll tell you what really stings…sometimes even we feel that way about people ourselves. “Yeah, I love them and all, but their attitude towards me and others have just caused too much pain, and really? …I don’t like them very much.”
Peter had proclaimed his love and devotion toward Jesus time and again. But as was spoken of yesterday, when it really mattered he denied even knowing Jesus. For him to set things aright, Jesus ran him through the wringer. As the notes in my Life Application Bible put it, Jesus doesn’t settle for quick, superficial answers. He has a way of getting to the heart of the matter.
Altogether Jesus asked Peter three times if he loved him.
The first two times Jesus used the Greek word agape which is defined as a volitional, self-sacrificial love. But the last time he asked, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” v17 (Remember that’s what he was called before Jesus started calling him Peter) that Greek word for love is phileo which signifies affection, affinity, or brotherly love. In effect, Jesus was nailing Peter down with the question, “Are you even my friend?”
It put Peter, if you’ll forgive the pun, between a rock and a hard place (Peter means “rock”). He had to do something that many struggle with, he had to face his true feelings and motives.
Peter came out on the good side of things (as Jesus knew he would) but it didn’t make it any easier.
So…now each of us needs to answer Jesus’ questions. How would we respond? Jesus asks us as well, “Do you love me? Do you really love me? Are you even my friend?”
It’s a tough spot to be put in but to move forward in our relationship with the Lord, we need to do it. Thank You, Jesus, for Your patience, understanding, and most of all Your tough love!

Oh, and while we’re at it, Lord Jesus, help us to love more deeply those around us, so that we may be more and more like You. May our lack of “like” be transformed! Amen!

Nov 22^nd, 2021, Mon, 7:38 pm