It has been a full day, even flying solo. Father, our time – just You and me – has yet to take place. Open my ears. Open my heart. Amen.

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I’m hesitant to write this, but if I am not vulnerable and transparent, is the impact as great?

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My Dearest Father,

This is not easy, but I feel the necessity of it and have felt it weighing on my heart as early as this past Saturday.

How can You love me like You do? My brain has difficulty processing the enormity of it! Your love is unfailing, whereas my love for You seems to falter far too frequently. Well, let me rephrase that…it’s not that I don’t love You. It’s that I repeatedly fall short of showing You my love. Well, even that is not really saying what I’m feeling. Too often, my love is not shown in that I do things that hurt You – things that are not good for me…things that are not good for our relationship.

I cannot process the unfathomable depths of Your love… Time and time again, I start off close by Your side, then willingly stray. Like a child, I can often hear Your voice, but in my arrogance and selfishness, I pretend I don’t hear it. Honestly, there are times, much to my shame, that I ignore it.

But do those acts block Your love for me? Amazingly, no! The times, like the Prodigal, that I have strayed and been lovingly welcomed back into Your arms are innumerable!

I remember as a youth thinking that my name in the Book of Life had been erased and rewritten so many times that surely a hole had been worn through the paper! But, no, your love is never-ending. You, my Father, bless me over and over again with a longsuffering love. Your patience knows no end.

I know I need not ask, but please continue loving me. Please, don’t give up on me. Please continue to call out for me. Please continue to pursue me. I know I need You. I know that I cannot make it without You.

And as You know, I am weak. And as I know, You are strong.

I know I am rattling on, but I surely understand that the One who is love cannot stop loving me. Hold me tight. Wrap me up with Your mighty arms. May I not forget the warmth and compassion of Your embrace. For that memory will continue to bring me back if I do stray from You, for I cannot live life without You.

My existence is dependent upon You. I am incomplete without You. What I am called upon to do as a result of our relationship can only be accomplished when I am a vessel pouring out Your love to others, standing strong in Your strength, and Your wisdom guiding me. I am Yours, my Dearest Father. Use me as You will.

Feb 11th, 2024, Sun, 7:03 pm