Father, I am grateful for an uncluttered day with family. Thank You for my blessings!

1 Corinthians 13:5c (<<click here to read the passage)

[Love] does not take into account a wrong endured. AMP

I remembered a “funny” joke about a husband saying that his wife would get historical when they were arguing…not hysterical but historical…she would dredge up many things from their past. So, I looked it up, and I’m not kidding; God leads me down some strange paths to get me where He wants me to be… He led me to an online article on a ministry’s website called Knowing Her Sexually.

It stopped me dead in my tracks…

Their blog post was entitled, Does Your Wife Get “Historical”?

First, they stressed that it is not so much that wives are taking into account a wrong endured, but in reality, it’s just how their minds are wired. Karen’s mind is excellent at remembering prices for things, especially groceries. I’m not so good at that. I’m good at remembering the vehicles my work associates drive, so I know who is or who is not at the garage, and I readily recognize them in other places as well (yeah, it’s not a big deal, but it’s how my brain works.)

Wives aren’t getting “historical”; they just store both positive and negative memories related to their relationship with their husbands. So why do they bring up negative memories regularly?

They say that maybe that one incident is negligible, but it rings of patterns we develop. How many times do we find our phones in our hands? It may not be every time we’re together, but it happens often…doesn’t it?

She mentions past incidents as examples to show that she has genuinely noticed this behavior and her concern doesn’t come from out of the blue. She wants to be sure you know that she isn’t just being overly sensitive. She wants you to believe her. She wants you to understand that this is something that bothers her.

Another reason she might bring up negative memories is that she is still hurting. …she may bring it up frequently over the years because she still needs help dealing with the hurt.

She may be hoping for an apology, trying again to feel heard by you, or wanting her experience to be acknowledged in some way.

I’m stopping right there (click on their post title if you’d like to read the rest.)

I think many of us struggle with this in our relationships, myself included. I find myself praying about my relationship with Karen. I love her, and it seems that too often, we don’t see eye to eye, and some things aren’t really addressed. Being a couple for 40 years, it’s easy to take her for granted, not showing her nearly often enough that I love and cherish her. …notice that I didn’t say “tell her.” I need to show her. And I’m not very good at it.

Lord Jesus, help me to remove reasons to take into account a wrong endured. Help me to love her more and to give her more reason to love me, as well.

Dec 27th, 2023, Wed, 8:50 pm